~ravist

TO SHAWN:
" i'm gonna try2b in the weightroom on mon morn ( back in wa sun-mon ) so attendance is mandatory! c: bringin the caffeine2, tigre!! "

because caffeine allegedly increases the max lift fiveLB. and because I missed you.

but the weight room wasn't open due to football antics at 9AM, so I dropped by Emerald City, scammed the lady into giving me a 24oz instead of a 16oz free along side the 32oz chocolate Builder I ordered for you, and went to shawn's apartment.

Like usual, I woke you up, and this time with breakfast and caffeine pills ( jacked them back in my more clepto days from riteaid. one pill=100mg caffeine, or in other words one pill= 1.25 redbulls ). Oliver ( his chiwawawawawawa ), my greatest fan, greeted me eagerly at the door with his minature sausage-link dick out and pindrop paws harmlessly scratching in attempt to woo me into petting him. Yeah, I'm so sexy that I attract girls, guys, /and/ dogs.

I think I'm starting to rub off on your mother. She looked really suicidal when i told her i couldn't go to the pool with the two of you today because of the wedding. She actually was going to lend me one of her bathing suits too, and that's saying SOMETHING.

--

"are you trying to say that my dick...is the gateway to my soul?"
silence, then laughter.

--

I love it when he picks me up and spins me around.

"i missed you... kinda." said the tiger ---as he held me and i held him--- at the doorstep.
i muttered, "you jerk," and hit him, hard---- then kissed him, hard.

--

My mother got 'married' today.
Why the ''s you may inquire. That is, because it is a simple exchange of vows.

or in other words, a way to get married while still recieving money from my father, a notion i highly dissapprove of; my father, wayne frederick? he is a good man.

anyways,
The alleged wedding was the most fucking awkward thing i've ever been to. there were only six people including myself, only one full-course meal----only three full hours with a scanty quantity of socially awkward people. Thomas, the dude that my darling mother is marrying? I had to listen to him fucking talk about curling and how his broom is made of fiberglass, for only about half an hour. His son, Lincoln, has been going to college for over 5 years and is now a junior at last. And Jim-orSOMETHING? The whole lot of them, the three of them are ( by god, directed ) avid birdwatchers. In fact, Lincoln was almost named, literally, 'Nighthawk' because it seemed to be the mandate of god that he be named such, as the night of name-searching, they were flying in the sky. This, all being said with the gravest face, nearly made me crack up and set a chronic twitch to my lips.

--

I learned today that my father is a millionaire.
...holy shit on an altar.

-ravist

ps: man, the stories that i wish i could tell you guys..